Fire Down Below by Debra Anastasia Review

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Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter.

Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream.

How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is off to a galloping, farting start.

Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope you're not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.

Oh God. We’re talking about me being naked, in the shower with cooter cream. Please world, end. Kill me.

“I know it’s not soap. I just… if it’s scented… I can’t do scented. Flowers and stuff like that. Fruit-flavored soaps make… things… burnish.” She could tell from the peeks at his face Mr. Fitzwell had never stepped foot in bath and lotion store, wanting to try the array of fun fragrances. Nor had he purchased Peppermint Candy shower gel, foamed up his nether regions, and felt like he had dipped them in lava. Dove crossed and uncrossed her legs at the memory.

Mr. Fitzwell seemed concerned. “Okay, just a heads-up. It’s definitely not good to put any fruits or plant life near your genitals.” He made a V with his hands and formed his own pretend vagina in front of his pants.

Dove covered her eyes and tried to defend herself because now she could hear the sickly older woman beating her supporters with a purse.

Dove’s mumbling got louder with her embarrassment. “I don’t put weird things down… there. Just make sure that the cream’s vagina-scented. Just plain. For vaginas.” She kept her eyes on the counter. 

Sav's Review

I can honestly say that Debra Anastasia has completely left me speechless. I really am not sure how to review this book, or what to tell you. I will say that Fire down Below is unlike anything I've ever read. I haven't read anything similar and I doubt I ever will. This book is a comedy and while it DOES have a storyline, it also has laugh out loud moments on every page. It's not written like a typical romantic comedy though, oh no - it has it's very own Debra Anastasia twist. The humor in this book ranged from "Oh my God I just shot drink out of my nose" kind of funny to "Oh my God that's the most disguisting thing I've ever read but I still can't stop laughing" kind of funny.

It holds no bars and gives no fucks. This book is one to go down in the book. Dove - Bless her heart, she just couldn't catch a break. You ever heard of Murphy's Law? It basically states that anything that can go wrong, will and THAT is the only way to describe Dove. She's accident prone and easily embarrassed and EVERY THING THAT CAN GO WRONG, DOES! I truly felt sorry for her character at times but yet I laughed alot too. The potty humor of this book is really not for everyone. If bodily functions and flatulence are things that bother you then don't read this book because you will need to bleach your eyes when you finish but if you're like me and enjoy things such as American Pie (especially Stifler) or Scary Movie then this is definitely your book. Well done Debra for not caring what the world thinks and taking a risk on this disturbingly hilarious book.

4 STARS!!!

 

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There are a lot of eyes in Debra Anastasia’s house in Maryland. First, her own creepy peepers are there, staring at her computer screen. She’s made two more sets of eyes with her body, and the kids they belong to are amazing. The poor husband is still looking at her after 17 years of marriage. At least he likes to laugh. Then the freaking dogs are looking at her—six eyeballs altogether, though the old dog is blind. And the cat watches her too, mostly while knocking stuff off the counter and doing that internal kitty laugh when Deb can’t catch the items fast enough.
           Debra has a smattering of books in a few genres. There are two in the Seraphim Series and three in the Poughkeepsie Brotherhood Series with a prequel, Poughkeepsie Begins in the near future. Fire Down Below is the first in the comedic Gynzaule Series. The second, Fire in the Hole, will be published in late 2015. The Revenger, a dark paranormal romance will debut this summer. And last, a novella called Late Night with Andres is special because 100% of the proceeds go to breast cancer research. (So go get it right now, please!) You can find her at DebraAnastasia.com and on Twitter @Debra_Anastasia. But be prepared...

 

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LOSERS weepers by Nicole Williams - Blog Tour and Review Stop

New Adult Contemporary Romance
Release: February 24, 2015

If we didn’t know darkness, we couldn’t fully appreciate the light.
 
Garth Black’s more familiar with this concept than most people are. He hadn’t just lived in the dark for the majority of his life—he thrived in it. With a mom who’d bailed on him and a dad whose understanding of coddling started and ended with a bottle of whiskey, Garth had never been expected to rise to any sort of occasion other than following down the same dead-end paths.

 

That changed when he fell in love with Josie Gibson. After years of pulling each other closer before shoving the other way, they finally stopped shoving. Josie’s love is like nothing Garth’s ever experienced. He holds it close. He holds it sacred. He would do anything to preserve it and keep it from pollution, even if that means removing himself from the picture.
 
Garth might have been allowed a temporary furlough to bask in the light, but that pass has been revoked, and he’s been swallowed again by the dark. Will he revert to his old ways of hurting those he cares for most? Will he go back to the same destructive patterns . . . or will it be worse this time?
 
We can’t know light without first knowing dark . . . and Garth Black’s about to get acquainted with the dark in a whole new way.

 Suz's Review

When we last saw Garth Black, he was finally with the one he loved.... But life for Garth is never easy.

Garth is finally living his dream... he's with Josie, has a ring to give her and is competing to head to Nationals... until tragedy strikes. My heart instantly broke for Garth, again. I had hoped that life for him would be a HEA with Josie, but life is too bumpy for that.

Its hard to say too much without giving spoilers. 

The book centers around how life can take a turn for the worse and how the people around you can be there for you, no matter the cost to themselves.

'It means you rise, I rise; you fall, I fall. You hurt, I hurt; you succeed, I succeed.'

Garth starts to feel that he is not what is best for Josie again.

'We justify it because we want the best for them, and we realize we're not that.'

We get a peek into Jesse and Rowen and how life is for them.

'sometimes life needed to be laughed at instead of feared.'

About the Author

I’m the New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author of the CRASH series (HarperTeen, S&S UK), LOST & FOUND series, UP IN FLAMES (S&S UK), The EDEN TRILOGY, and a handful of others. I write stories about everyday kinds of people who find themselves in extraordinary kinds of situations. I tell love stories with happy endings because I believe in making the world a better place, and that’s one tiny way I can make it so. I’m one of those people who still believe in true love and soul mates, and would rather keep my head in the clouds any day over having my feet firmly on the ground.

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Thoughtful by S.C Stephens - Review and Blog Tour Stop

About THOUGHTFUL

In Thoughtless, Kiera told her story. Now it's time to hear from the sexy rock star who captivated us all . . .

The only place Kellan Kyle has ever felt at home is onstage. Gripping his guitar in a darkened bar, he can forget his painful past. These days his life revolves around three things: music, his bandmates, and hot hookups. Until one woman changes everything . . . Kiera is the kind of girl Kellan has no business wanting-smart, sweet, and dating his best friend. Certain he could never be worthy of her love, he hides his growing attraction . . . until Kiera's own tormented heart hints that his feelings might not be one-sided. Now, no matter the consequences, Kellan is sure of one thing-he won't let Kiera go without a fight.

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Q&A with S.C Stephens

1. Tell us about your writing process. Do you start with an idea or a character? 

I usually start with an idea, and the characters spring to life from there. Do you know what’s going to happen from the beginning or do you figure it out as you write? I typically have a general idea of where I want the story to end up, but things come to me as I’m writing, so the story often changes.

2. What did Kellan and Kiera exchange for Valentine’s Day this year? 

They’re very busy, so time alone together is what they cherish most.

3. What was hardest about writing the story from Kellan’s perspective? 

I think the hardest part was making sure everything lined up with the first book. I went through Thoughtless page by page to make sure it was consistent. What was the most fun? Any scene where all of the guys were together. I love the camaraderie between the band members.

4. How has music played a role in your life and in your writing? 

Music gives me ideas, and is basically the reason for Kellan’s existence. I “saw” him singing every song I listened to on the radio. I fell in love with him long before I wrote his story.

5. Many readers say Kellan was the first/favorite book boyfriend. What do you think appeals to readers about him? 

I think it’s a mixture of his job, his past, his looks, his pain, and the fact that he is so incredibly devoted to the people he cares about. 

Review

I don't even know where to begin with this book, so I'll say this, I'm normally not a fan of the same book being written over in the male POV. I find that more often than not, it's just the same stuff I've already - nothing new is rarely ever brought to the table so to say I was having an internal battle with myself reguarding Thoughtful is an understatement. In the end I lost the battle and read the book.

THANK GOD I read the book! It's absolutely nothing I expected but everything I wanted and needed.  S.C made it seem as I was reading an entirely new story. Now sure, it had some repetition, but it has to, other than basic stuff it was a completely new journey. 

Seeing things in the eyes of Kellan Kyle was beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time. The journey was different but the end game was all the same. I laughed and cried and suffered the pain that felt dealing with pain. Pain of falling for a woman that wasn't his, pain of hurting a brother who protected him, pain of his past and pain of his future. 

This was just an overall incredible read. I highly recommend it and I thoroughly think fans of the Thoughless Trilogy will devour it in one sitting (just like I did) The writing was flawless and the emotion was spot on! Bring on the next book (Griifin's) This book gets five bright and shiny stars from me. 

About S.C. Stephens

S. C. Stephens is a #1 bestselling author who spends her every free moment creating stories that are packed with emotion and heavy on romance.  In addition to writing, she enjoys spending lazy afternoons in the sun reading, listening to music, watching movies, and spending time with her friends and family.  She and her two children reside in the Pacific Northwest. 

S.C. Stephen’s SM:

@SC_Stephens_

http://authorscstephens.com 

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The Reality O by Candy Sloan

  
Thank you for joining us in the promotional event for The Reality O by Candy Sloane, aka Lisa Burstein, hosted by Wordsmith Publicity. Be sure to check out the excerpts, guest posts, and more!

 

Title: The Reality O

Author: Candy Sloane/Lisa Burstein

Age Group: Adult

Genre: Comedy/Erotic Romance

Add The Reality O on GoodReads

Purchase The Reality O for only $0.99!

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About a year ago a book titled Sneaking Candy was released. It was about a creative writing graduate student (Candice Salinas) and her erotic romance author alter-ego (Candy Sloane). Readers fell in love with Candy and so did author Lisa Burstein. 

Lisa fell so much in love SHE WROTE A BOOK as Candy Sloane.

The Reality O is Candy Sloane's first standalone debut erotic romance novel, but it may not be her last...

Fifteen Contestants, Twelve Episodes & One Chance to Rock Her World

When my best friend Allie posted about my need for an inaugural O on a prominent dating website it was meant to be a joke.
A joke she was supposed to delete.
But her post started an internet and media frenzy and, when I was offered fifty thousand dollars to star in my own reality competition show, I had no choice but to say yes.
The show was supposed to help me meet a carnal companion who could finally bring me to climax.
Unfortunately, the one person I want to win the undying allegiance of my, well, you know, can’t be in the running at all.
Now in an L.A. mansion with fifteen very persuasive contestants vying for my attention and one undeniably sexy Production Assistant secretly getting it all the word ACTION has a whole new meaning…

Author's Note: This book is about sex. There are men kissing women, women kissing women, and men kissing lady parts. It is not meant for readers under eighteen, or my mother.

Dee's Review

4 stars

This book had me laughing, a lot. The banter between the best friends was real, I could see me and my friends talking the same way. I loved the banter between the contestants. You definitely got the reality show vibe from it, which is good, since that is vital to the story. I felt the book was balanced, and had a good mix of funny, heat and sweetness. I loved the scandalous aspect and even in the end it showed that your best friend will always have your back, regardless of if she got you into the mess in the first place or not. I loved the ending, I felt it went perfectly with the story line.  The story flowed nicely and was easy to follow. It's a fairly quick and easy read. No real angst so if you want a fun, upbeat, overall happy book, then I highly recommended this one.

You certainly don't have to read Sneaking Candy before you read The Reality O, but if you would like to it's $0.99 right now on all e-book platforms! 

Find more information about Sneaking Candy here!

Entangled Publishing  |  GoodReads  |  Amazon |  Barnes and Noble  |  iTunes
 

About the Author

https://twitter.com/CandySloane

Candy Sloane is an erotic romance author and the fictional creation of Lisa Burstein from the New Adult Novel Sneaking Candy. The Reality O is her debut novel.

Lisa Burstein is the author of the Young Adult Novels: Pretty Amy and Dear Cassie, and the New Adult Novels & Novellas: Sneaking Candy, The Next Forever, The Possibility of Us, and Again. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her very patient husband, a neurotic dog and two cats. 

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Dragons Lair by Chantal Fernando - Review

The first in a new sexy romance series from bestselling author Chantal Fernando about the bad boys of the Wind Dragons Motorcycle Club and the women who fall in love with them.

When I found my boyfriend cheating on me, I did something stupid. 

Or should I say, someone? 

Because of that mistake, I’m now stuck in a world I don’t belong in. 

I’m a law student. They’re criminals. He’s the vice president of a motorcycle club. I’m a good girl with a strict upbringing. He’s my ex-boyfriend’s brother. 

And I’m screwed.

Sav's Review

This was one of those books that completely took me by surprise. I am a sucker for a good MC book and Dragons lair did not disappoint. I feel like I should make it clear that this is NOT a dark read, it has some angst in it to keep you on your toes, but it doesn't have any dark themes such as rape, torture, etc. So this book is completely safe for those of you that don't like all that dark stuff.

Faye always had a crush on Dexter Black, her older neighbor that always made sure to look out for her. He kept her safe and made her feel loved because she didn't get that from her stuck up parents who cared more for their appearance than they did for her. 

Life happened and Faye grew up, destined to be somebody. In school to be a lawyer and sitting at the top of her class she finds her boyfriend, he's also her best friend and lifelong friend, cheating on her. Sad and heartbroken she goes out looking for something- anything to take away the pain.

While she's out, she runs into none other than Dex, she hasn't seen him in years but he's definitely grown into a sexy hunk of man and she's instantly drawn to him. He knows her and she knows him and sparks fly. 

One night is all it takes to rock Faye's life to it's core. Throwing her world on it's axis. She's lost her boyfriend, her family, and essentially all of her dreams. She soon finds herself caught in a world she never thought possible. Will Faye get everything she never knew she wanted? Or will she buckle under the pressure and run from this new world? 

This book was super amazing. It pulled me in and had me turning pages unable to put it down. The men of the MC were typical motorcycle men but they were hilarious and kept me laughing. Faye is one of the strongest female leads I've ever had the pleasure of reading about. She had me laughing out loud more times then once. All in all, I think everyone should read this book. It was just perfect and I cannot recommend it enough! 

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Devil in Duke's Clothing by Nina Mason

 

Devil in Duke’s Clothing, an erotic historical romance by Nina Mason, tells the story of an innocent bride's struggles to adapt to her new husband’s eccentric erotic tastes amidst the instability and hedonism of the reign of Charles II. The book is the latest by Nina Mason, the author of The Queen of Swords and The Tin Man. Book One in the Royal Pains Trilogy, Devil in Duke's Clothing is highly erotic and features scenes of voyeurism, bondage, flagellation, and a voyeuristic menage.

Available in e-book and paperback. Buy it now!

Here's the blurb:

Maggie York, a convent-raised foundling, knows the Duke of Dunwoody’s sexual tastes are a shade or two darker than normal, but marries him anyway—partly because she has no other prospects and partly because, try as she might, she can’t seem to exorcize her desire for the dashing ducal devil. Two years ago, she watched him swive and spank her lady's maid, luring her from the garden of innocence into the orchard of fleshly delights--and she's been hungry for more ever since.

Robert Armstrong, the duke, is a Roman Catholic whose extreme devotions as a child warped his desires as a man. He’s also a slave to the times in which he lives--and to his king. Everything he is, everything he holds dear, depends on staying in Charles II’s good graces. Unfortunately, Maggie isn't the bride the king selected for him. Now, to make amends, the duke must choose between the lesser of two evils: whore his wife or be reduced to a penniless commoner.

Whose interests will Robert choose to serve, his own, the king’s, or the woman he loves?

Here's the trailer (18+ only, please):

Here's an excerpt:

The duke pushed the sleeves off her shoulders and halfway down her arms before about-facing her. Stooping, he pressed his mouth to her décolletage.

His lips were deliciously warm and moist against the bulging tops of her flattened bosoms. His hair tickled her flesh in a pleasing sort of way and smelled faintly of lavender.

He moved upward, kissing her collarbone, her throat, the side of her neck, and her earlobe. After blowing in her ear, he whispered in a voice like velvet, “Why did you marry me, knowing what you knew?”

A hot lump formed at her core. “Because.”

He ran his tongue around the folds of her ear, sending delicious shivers through her. “Because why?”

“Because you are a duke.” Mouth suddenly parched, she licked her lips.

“And you dreamed of being a duchess?”

“No.”

“Then why?”

“I would prefer not to say.”

“Why?”

“Because it will make me sound small and petty.”

His tongue’s explorations undermined her concentration. “Now I really must know.”

She heaved a sigh of surrender. “Survival, “ she said, forcing the half-truth from her throat. “Since you insist upon an answer, I married you because you asked me to…and I had nowhere else to turn for protection.”

His mouth returned to her neck and proceeded to kiss, lick, and nip her flesh, turning her insides to syrup.

“Thank you,” he said betwixt kisses.

“For what?”

“Your candor.”

Guilt crushed her chest like a boulder. Yes, she’d married him to gain security, but she'd left out the part about lusting after him deep in her heart. She moved away, removed the full-sleeved bodice, and laid it over the bench at the foot of the bed.

He came up behind her, slipped his arms around her waist, and kissed the back of her neck, setting her aflame.

She spun in his embrace and looked at him. His dark hair tumbled in soft waves over his broad shoulders. His features were shadowed, making him look dangerous. The need she’d stuffed down for so long erupted from her core, thick and molten.

Bringing his mouth to hers, he kissed and nibbled her lips as his hands untied the strings of her petticoat. It billowed to the floor, leaving her in only her fancy wedding stays and shift. “Now, ’tis my turn.”

Stepping back a wee ways, she pulled the diamond stick-pin from his cravat, loosened the knot, and unfurled the long strip of linen encircling his neck. Was it the same one he’d used to tie the maid’s hands?

“Why did you dismiss Mistress Honeywell?” she asked, letting his neck cloth slip from her fingers to the floor.

His beguiling mouth hitched into a crooked grin. “Had I known you’d seen me swive her, I could have saved myself the trouble—and a few sovereigns.”

“I’m sorry for your trouble, but do not regret her loss. Truth be known, I never liked her—though I do not doubt part of my aversion stemmed from what I witnessed.”

He lifted her chin, pulling her gaze to his. “Were you jealous, Rosebud?”

“Not at the time, but afterward, I resented her relationship with you.”

“There was no relationship. ‘Twas merely a one off.”

Unsure what to say in response, she unbuttoned his collar, opened the front of his shirt, and slipped both hands inside. As her fingertips met the warm, hair-garnished flesh of his chest, she nearly swooned.

How many times she had fantasized about touching him in this way. How much better he felt in real life—a pleasing quilt of smooth skin, solid bone and muscle, wiry hairs, and petal soft nipples. She pinched one until it grew erect.

“You feel good, husband” she said. “You are well put together.”

“It gets better.” He laughed.

“I know.” She blushed at the memory. “I saw everything you own that day in Mrs. McQueen’s closet.”

“And you married me anyway?”

“Oh, no. I married you because of it.”

The smile he gave her warmed her all the way down to her toes.

She swept her hands downward, shuddering when they touched the tartan draped around his hips. The wool was finely woven, soft. She brushed the apron, pleased to find he was aroused. So was she. Mightily.

Since that day in the closet, she’d pictured his hard phallus a thousand times—in her hand, her mouth, and her cunny, and now ’twas at last within grasp. She bent to unbuckle the belt circumnavigating his hips, but, changing her mind, reached underneath the curtain of plaid instead.

He sucked in a breath as she ran her hands up the backs of his thighs. They felt exactly as she’d dreamed they would. Lean, hard, and flocked in bristly hair. Would his phallus feel the way she’d imagined, too?

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Here's a wee bit about the author:

Nina Mason is a hopeful romantic with strong affinities for history, mythology, and the metaphysical. She strives to write the same kind of books she loves to read: those that entertain, edify, educate, and enlighten.

She has two books out at present: The Queen of Swords, a darkly erotic Scottish paranormal romance/urban fantasy, and The Tin Man, a political thriller.

Ms. Mason is currently at work on two new series': an erotic historical trilogy titled Royal Pains and a four-part erotic paranormal/fantasy series titled The Knights of Avalon. Devil in Duke's Clothing is book one in Royal Pains. Starry Knight, book one in the Knights of Avalon will be released on August 4, 2015 by Lyrical/Kensington>

When not writing, she works as a communications consultant, doll maker, and home-stager. Born and raised in Orange County, California, Ms. Mason currently lives with her husband, teenage daughter, two rescue cats, and a Westie named Robert just north of Atlanta, Georgia.

Here are the author's stalker links:

Nina Mason's website
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